I should be able to be angry with her. But I can’t maintain it for any length of time.
So instead of being able to block out thoughts and stop wondering how she is, if she is ok or dwelling on how much I miss talking to her, they just pop into my head randomly.
Very inconvenient.
If I could build up the anger I felt a couple of hours after she put the phone down on me I would have no problem. But it only ever comes back in little bursts. I have to work at it.
And if you have to work at being angry, you are not angry at all really.